Life has thrown some real curve balls at me in the last 5 years. I have never thought I would be where I am now… divorced, re-married, re-located, house wife, step-mom, and clueless of where life is taking me. All along I have a clear vision of what and who I was… I was a wife, a mom and teacher… then a single mom and a teacher. For years, that’s the world I thought I would be living… until now.
Last August, I married a wonderful, awesome, loving and supportive husband, and became a mom to 2 more equally awesome kids. And now I have a different role and job in life… a homemaker. I am not complaining about this new career shift because being with my husband and serving my family makes me really happy. I love my life as a wife and a mother, I am thankful for this opportunity to be able to give this time to my children that I never had before.
But… from being a working, single-mother to a home maker is something I am currently struggling with. No, I do not think being a housewife and stay at home mom is a bad thing at all! It’s one of the toughest job out there. I salute the courage, strength, determination, self-worth, creativity, and selflessness of all mom’s out there. It’s a hard job. But this career change has made me feel un-useful, un-productive and having no purpose because This transition of figuring out who I am in this different world is struggle every now and then.
Again, I am not complaining about this life I am now blessed me. Only, there is a nagging feeling inside of me that I can’t seem to shake off. I should be content but I am not. Not with where I am but what I am and who I am. My sense of security and accomplishment of being who I was a year ago has changed… I know I need to redefine and find myself in this new life I have now.
My journey the past years has ended in a happily ever after and answered prayers… I am now off to conquer a different and unknown path…Where God is leading me? I have absolutely no clue. It sure is scary, frustrating and even depressing at times. But I have faith and trust in the beauty of His plans. Here goes the beginning of my journey….